bleh, good news for me bad news for him

So a couple of days ago my dads gf left him. This makes me happy because from the moment I met her I felt as though she was jelous of mine and my dads relationship. Well based on her reason for leaving I hate to admit I wasn't being paranoid. She believed my dad had to do more for her then for me. She was upset that he helped me get a new phone, so she left. I am happy she's gone because hopefully it means that my relationship with my dad will go back to what it was for sure, but at the same time I'm sad for my dad. It hurts him even though he won't straight up say it. It's unfair that she is making him go through this for a stupid reason, but at the same time it sure as hell makes me happy that she's finally gone, because she shouldn't be acting like that. She knew he had a kid before she moved in with him and if it's such a problem she should never have moved in with him. But now I'm terrified, now that she's gone he might start using again. If that happens our relationship won't get better, but worse. I can't handle losing him again...

apifony, or however the hell yu spell it...

Tonight I realized my trust issues aren't that I don't trust my boyfriend, but that I don't trust myself. I get so mad at him for not telling me things. They never really matter to much, but I get upset. Tonight I realized though I'm so afraid of hurting him that I get all worked up over small things. Its just like if he doesn't do it then I won't be mad, and I won't hurt him. But what if I do. What if one day I have a kid and I hurt my baby? What if I hurt the people I love....