first post

Hi, I'm 19 and suffer from bi-polar depression. That comes with alot of problems, first the mood problems, not being able to control mood swings and with that there is anger, and when I'm angry there's the word vomit, you know when you say things and don't think about it they just come out, usually with a bitter taste. This blog is for people with bi-polar disorder and people who know people with bi-polar disorder. This is where I spill my guts. I want people to see what it's like being bi-polar from the sufferer's point of view, you always hear the families point of view, but I want to change that. I want to speak up, show people my thought process, show people how I feel when I lash out. I'm tired of people saying "Oh it's just an excuse, you can control it," when the truth is, I can't. I can't control how I feel how, how I react or any of that stuff, and hell since I've always had bi-polar disorder i don't know maybe it's normal not being able to control your emotions, maybe it's just worse for me then "normal people," but I know one thing I'm so tired of people telling me I can control it. I've lived with this for 19 years and haven't found a way to control myself and I doubt I ever will, and the sooner people figure that out the easier it will be to deal with me. I might cuss a bit in this blog, but I will try to keep it at a minimum, I hope I can help people understand bi-polar disorder, and hopefully you find some interest in my posts. Some of this blog might just be me talking about my life happenings and how I feel, but I will try to make sure I at least put my thought process through certain situations so you get a basic idea what it's like to be me.
Sincerely, Bi-polar Girl
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