dear "best friend"

The problems with best friends is you have to trust them. If anything happens to your friendship you have to trust your secrets won't be used against you. Like rape for instance. You have to be a cold hearted person to use rape as an insult. But I guess anyone who would be friends with a person like me must have some issues. How do you call someone, who was supposed to be your best friend, a "no good rape victim"? People are cruel. I don't think I need a best friend. I don't need a best friend to use my secrets against me as insults. Trust, its such a squirmy little bug, easily crushed and disgusting. Don't need it. I'll just stick to my writing...

finally

I am so happy the past drama of this week is finally over. My "friend" and her bf finally left. But not without stealing some money from my bf's mom and calling me a bunch of names. It was all just bad people being in my life and now they're gone. I am so happy to finally be free of them.

to much

Everything this past week has been to much on my body. The stress is making my stomach churn and my head pound. I wish I could just lay down and never wake up. I had the worst day today with my bipolar, every little thing bothered me, like my friend tickling MY boyfriend, my friend being here, my friend talking like a baby. Last night my friends morning sickness and my emetophobia acted against eachother, and that really killed me this morning. I was so emotionally drained. I am still so emotionally drained. I wish they would leave, or I could, I wish there was somewhere safe I could hide away from all this stress....

im trying

I try to do something nice, like taking the kids to a family fun center for bf's mom can have a day to her self, and the only thing she does is bitch and yell. I spent all day on a sprained ankle taking care of her kids and she juss yells. Yells about pizza, soda, jackets, everything. Why can't we get a day where she appreciates what me and my boyfriend do for her...

im not pregnant

I am not pregnant, I didn't make that mistake, my home is not yours, and it never will be. Why do I have to deal with you bullshit. Why am I taking care of a pregnant 20 year old when I am not even ready to take care of my self. I asked you not to come over. I told you no, so why are you here. Why am I in this mess, I didn't create......

sigh

My life is a mess, and I am busy taking care of my homeless pregnant friend. I still have no control over my mouth and I end u with problems with my bf, instead of spending time alone with him to fix it, I have my best friend laying next to me in my bed asleep. I can barely handle my own problems right now, I can barely handle the stress of my life, but now I have someone else I worry about. Even if I ask her to leave I will be stressed out because I will feel like I have abandoned her. How do I fix my life when  I am under all this stress....