scattered

Been having a hard time lately. Issues with dad, as usual, mostly just his gf hating me though. I think my body is trying to kill me. My knees can barely hold myself up, I wanted to kill myself the other night, and I'm cutting again. I don't know why, I don't want to tell anyone about it. I just like the feeling of the pain. I like the blood dripping from my body. I don't know how to stop it. I don't know why I like it. But it's addicting. I quit drinking energy drinks, which makes me tired. Energy drinks are bad for the body, especially when you drink them as much as I did, which was like once a day or more. I know this post is a little scattered, but its how I feel right now, scattered. My brain, my body, my life. Its all scattered....