Thursday, November 29, 2012

random thoughts, periods and brokenness

So I'm sitting here thinking about being me, and you know as much as I like me, it sure as hell would be nice to grab everything inside me that is broken, and fix it. I would love to fix my body, make it in fancy new working condition, no bi-polar, no muscle problems, no back pain, no lung issues, and anything else I don't know I have yet. My life would be so much easier without at least some of those problems.
Then there's the whole girl stuff, like every month at that time, you know what I'm talking about, well I always get this feeling, where part of me wants to be pregnant, now don't worry I'm stupid enough to go and purposely get pregnant I'm only 19 and am sooo not ready for that, but there is a small part of me that kinda wishes that there was an accident. So come that time of the month when I haven't exactly started yet, but I know it's time I kinda get a little happy that I might be pregnant and then when I start although I know I'm not ready for a kid I still have a little disappointment, i don't know, I just kinda want a baby even though I know I'm not ready yet, at all, I can't even take care of myself.

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