People may think I'm overreacting right now, but they don't know what it is like to be bi-polar, they don't know how it feels to have trust issues all my life and not want to trust anyone especially not someone who has hurt me before. I fucking swear though my meds are my meds, each and every medicine bottle in my room has a very important purpose, doctor prescribed and over the counter. IF YOU EVER TOUCH MY MEDS I WILL BE FUCKING PISSED! Don't fucking sit there and tell me it's your fucking house you can do what you want! If you walked into someone elses house and they took the meds out of your purse because they needed them you would be pissed. I will give you an over the counter motrin if you need it, but if you go into my fuckin room and take my fuckin meds without my fuckin permission then you better fuckin expect me to be fuckin pissed! I swear people have no fucking respect for another persons personal items. This fuckin shit ain't right. I hate you! I don't even let my own family get away with this fucking shit! The only fucking reason I put up with you is I have no other choice because I have nowhere else to fucking live. But when me and your son are married with kids you will be nowhere near them! They will be in another state and you just burned a fuckin bridge that can't be repaired! YOU WILL NOT HAVE GRANDCHILDREN! I and my boyfriend will have kids, but you have no fucking right to be anywhere near my family, once I move out I am cutting you out of my fucking life!
Sorry I had to post this tonight, I had to vent, I want to scream, I cut again... I hate cutting, but its the only thing I ever known, when I was little I would bite myself, now I have cutting. Pain has always been my answer. I hate this feeling of hatred and rage. I hate that I am so angry, I hate that my meds can't fix it. I hate that my therapist has to leave and I have to see someone new, I hate people. I hate that I have no place. I have no home, I have no sanctuary. No personal space, nothing. I hate that I don't have a job to give me money so I can buy a home. I hate that I'm stuck in this pit of hatred...
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