crazy

I hate the word crazy, but its hard not to admit that thats what I am. Or that's what I can be sometimes. The other night was a bad night for me, my boyfriend moved over to a different spot on the bed because he was uncomfortable, I got really upset. I then became a little violent and in the end I ended up hurting him really bad. I hate that I did that to him. I really need to see about readjusting my meds. I don't want to hurt him again. It can't happen. Then because I hurt him I had to hurt my self. I feel crazy when things like this happen. My head was spinning, and I couldn't breath, I didn't know what to do, but fight. Fighting was the only answer. Getting it out of my head all the anger and aggression was the only way to fix how I felt. How do I fix things when I break everything I am near...