babies...

So I know I'm to young for a baby, and babies don't make life easier, and every other reason people say teenagers shouldn't get pregnant, but sometimes I just want one. I want some to take care of, a reason to wake up in the morning, a little tiny baby who's life and every need depends on me being around. I know that's not a good reason to have a baby, although come to think of it what is a good reason to have a baby? I want everything about a baby, the crying, the sickies, the cuteness. I don't just want a happy little baby to take care of, that never cries or has emotions, if I wanted that I'd get a dog, I want all the ups and downs of parenthood. I want someone who loves me on minute and hates me the next, who needs me to teach them and help them grow up. But how am I ever going to be able to take care of a baby without money? With everything wrong with me? I don't know if I could even physically be able to get through a pregnancy let alone take care of a child. How am I supposed to be the only thing I have ever wanted to be, when I can't even take care of myself......